Home Page content?

[sam09]

Hello,

Trying to make my site as best as possible. Have no cash to spend on it at present so doing all things by myself that I can however, I feel that my home page may not be captivating enough. I like the style of my page, again only done by myself so still a working progress.
But I'm not sure my description of my service is encticing enough to keep people readin on...Iknow what I would like to say but not quite sure how to say it.

So any help please!

http//loveasifind.webs.com

Sam

 

[Power Lunch Club]

Hello Sam,

Had a wee look at your website...nice wee site...but you are right about your content for the home page.

You have made the classic mistake of talking about what you do. Well no one gives two hoots about what you do...(sexy lingerie or not). But what they are expecting is what can your products do for them.

So think about and focus on what your customers want to feel, when they buy your lingerie.

Talk about 'do you want to feel really sexy'....or do you want to drive your partner wild with passions....think about the emotion you are trying to get your clients to think about and put that into your home page content.

Remember you competition also sell underwear, your present site only tells people what you do....make them feel what you can do for them.

Hope this helps.

 

[Scottish Business Owner]

Hi Sam,

I think Gordon makes some good points that it needs to be more about the end user than yourself.

I dont want to sound too negative here but if the aim of the website is to generate enquiries and effectively sales then as a minimum you need your own domain. People wont take you seriously.

You can do great things with Wordpress and the like which is free and we also have people on the site that offer great hosting and the like. Please dont take this as a negative I am trying to help you

 

[sam09]

I dont take any comments negatively it's all going towards helping.

I totally know how important it will be to have my own domain but at the minute fund are literally nil. I have me, some fabric and my sewing machine and am aiming to do my best with them until I manage to secure a job, where them I can buy the domain and keep up the monthy payments. Which I can't wait for to get rid of the ad banner!!

But I am planning on getting some shots of the pieces I am making at the minute, so fingers crossed by the time I have them, I could possibly have a job and do a sort of lauch of the site as a .com.

Like I say really want to make a shot of it regardless as to my funds, as I figure I'm better starting now than just doing nothing with my time.

So keep the adice coming lol

Sam

 

[Former Member 1]

I'm not going to entirely agree with what Gordon's said... :thumbup:

Has to be said my own home page makes the 'classic mistake' too; though for the very good reason that by the time people get to it they generally know what they want and why.... And the question I have to answer is what differentiates me from the rest...

YEARS ago we opened with a 'why you need this'..... But then back then people didn't know why...

I think I only know of one other person in a similar business to your own... Miss Katie: Corsets and Retro-Fetish Fashion

...She gets away with this approach simply because (again) she's well known and people will generally have a rough idea what they want and why they want it before they go looking.... That business sprang out of theatrical costume design and the retrocentric scene; and it still Is more 'theatrical'... People aren't going there 'cold'; and I suspect those who do arrive there out of the blue are baffled.....

It also has to be said I find Katie's design garish... And there are other issues with the site....


SO though I'm going to disagree somewhat with Gordon in terms of general principals in this case yes; you should definitely open with something along the lines of 'what can this do for you'....

What your site says just now is...

Love As I Find is an online boutique specializing in handmade lingerie. Everything is made to order, therefore when you order from Love As I Find, you know the item has been made with care, with only you in mind.

A small team based in Scotland, all the designs are created using newly made patterns or adapted from vintage lingerie. Inspired by the silver screen and burlesque starlets, Love As I Find wants to inspire confidence in women by making them feel beautiful and glamorous like some inspiring women such as Gene Harlow, Tempest Storm and Betty Paige.

Love As I Find aims to make designs that flatter the figure and offer items that everyone can feel beautiful in. However we do understand that our tastes are not the same as everyone’s, which is why there is

Off the top of my head... (and if this reads like a voice over that's because I'm more used to writing them...)

Be Passionate...

Be Confident....

Be Flattered...

Be Beautiful...

Inspired by the the silver screen and burlesque starlets, Love As I Find wants to bring out the confidence in every woman by making her feel beautiful and glamorous...

Inspired by women such as Gene Harlow, Tempest Storm and Betty Paige, and created by small team based in Scotland; all the designs are crafted using newly made patterns or adapted from classic vintage lingerie...

Made especially for you, everything is created to order. So when you order from Love As I Find, you know the item has been made with care, with only you in mind....

Photo on the opening page is really nice. And where you're going stylistically; well clearly you ARE a designer so I'll avoid attempting to launch into unwarranted pontifications with regard to yolk extraction.... Save to say I see where you're coming from with it and I like the concept...

HOWEVER; the bedroom shots in the 'only after dark' section AREN'T good! And one or two of the B&W shots in 'glamour is what I sell' are dragging it a bit... the flash in the mirror doesn't work and the shot of the girl's back needs work...

Quality Quality quality Quality.... This needs to be sold like a Saville Row suit or a Mont Blanc Pen; something's got to space it out from the Anne Summers Tat and that HAS to be the exclusivity; the quality aspect...

Domain Name... Well you pay a yearly or twice yearly fee to hold it. Stu's yer man when it comes to advice on this score. But it should be possible to even get a .co.uk for a tenner of so and re-direct it.. The DotCom is about £25...

Have to say Sam, I admire your spirit... Just really building up from nowt; nothing but admiration for folk with the mallum to do that..

 

[sam09]

To the above-lots of thanks!

I liked the rewording, it's one of these thing where you look at something for so long eventually you hit a mind block. However I'm hoping to get some help for some very captivating content (sister who studied creative writing).

The images I also agree with, as all (apart from the catwalk ones) were taken by myself and my friend last minute just using my digital camera. The black and white ones were needed for a display and I just took some snaps of the others while we we're pic taking.
So I should perhaps get the items reshot so as to show them better. Need to rope in a free model and photographer...another longshot, but I can only try.

A domain space is first on my list of things to do once I have spare cash (saving for a deposit for a flat once I get job). As it obv does look more professional. Though whilst I'm currently only reaching out to people I have met, friends etc...most of them understand it's a temp status or to be honest are not the most clued up on the web which gives me an advantage that way, but not for reaching the world!

Thank you again for the advice, it is all been noted. Was a great move for me to come on the forum!!

Sam

 

[Former Member 1]

To the above-lots of thanks!

I liked the rewording, it's one of these thing where you look at something for so long eventually you hit a mind block. However I'm hoping to get some help for some very captivating content (sister who studied creative writing).

T'was only off the top of my head to set you thinking in a different direction... If it's of use to you then please feel free to use it; I'd be delighted. But I'm a video producer, not a copy writer. And certainly someone with more of a technical grasp of copy writing will be able to do a better job... As you know Sam the creative process tends to be quite an 'organic' one; and sometimes it take just a prod in the right (or even just a different) direction...

The images I also agree with, as all (apart from the catwalk ones) were taken by myself and my friend last minute just using my digital camera. The black and white ones were needed for a display and I just took some snaps of the others while we we're pic taking.

First thing is to be careful of the copyright on pictures that aren't your own! You need to be pretty 'anal' on IP rights management because it can cost you SERIOUS amounts of money to get it even slightly wrong!

I could probably help you out with Photoshop though... Gratis of course to help you on your way

So I should perhaps get the items reshot so as to show them better. Need to rope in a free model and photographer...another longshot, but I can only try.

I'd volunteer to shoot it. But pretty girls in sexy lingerie is a subject I try very hard NOT to think about :blushing: Where are you based Sam? I'll see if I know maybe a student in your area who could do with material for their portfolio...

A domain space is first on my list of things to do once I have spare cash (saving for a deposit for a flat once I get job). As it obv does look more professional. Though whilst I'm currently only reaching out to people I have met, friends etc...most of them understand it's a temp status or to be honest are not the most clued up on the web which gives me an advantage that way, but not for reaching the world!

Comes a point where you need to have enough faith to invest in yourself. Fabric and fastenings are not cheap. Would you Baulk at paying £100 for materials? My sister is a Jewellery designer, and she's been doing it since we were kids... I remember when she was about 14 her 'entrusting' me (because I was into electronics and could solder well) to hard solder this silver bracelet she'd designed....

She took a HUGE risk with that piece... There was about £30 of Silver in it which back in 1977 was every penny she had... But then she got over £100 back for it!

Mind you; had our Mum found out the chance she took with it:001_unsure:

Having said all that she's now working in Milan for Feregammo and earning a bundle so I guess it was a good punt!

My point is that IF you have faith in this idea then at some point you'll need to take a risk on it. Can't remember the numbers but I doubt if I'm paying £100 between my hosing and main domains.... email Stu; se what he can sort out for you...

 

[Gordon N]

Hi Sam,

I have sent you a PM with some info that might help.

 

[PeterHoggan]

Yep, got to agree with and Power Lunch Club. People are not really interested in you per say, they are interested how your products will directly benefit them, how they will make them feel in or what’s in it for them.

Chances are someone who lands on your site isn’t simply looking for lingerie they are looking for something else, your lingerie is a means to that end. Look at your analytics and try to imagine the inner conversations taking place that would cause people to type the keyphrases they use to find your site. And use that intelligence to build content, Page titles, Headlines, and calls to action.

 

[Power Lunch Club]

And I might have known Gordon would be hanging around a lingerie thread. :w00t:

I find that remark offensive, bourish...and totally undeniable!!:thumbup:

But pretty girls in sexy lingerie is a subject I try very hard NOT to think about :blushing:

Yeah right!!:sneaky2:

 

[Former Member 1]

Yeah right!!:sneaky2:

I said I try Gordon... I didn't say I was successful....:thumbup:

 

[Canary Dwarf]

H Sam

The look and feel of your site is heading in the right direction, you've got nice background artwork and a nice picture. A few tweaks could make it look really classy if you're short on cash.

The text definitely does need changing, and I'll add my suggestion and reasoning later when I have a bit more time.

Listen to what everyone else is saying about the domain name though, that is crucial. It's VERY unusual today to find your exact business name is still available as a domain name, and yours is, both as a .com and .co.uk.

You could probably find enough change down the back of the sofa. Heck, I'd buy it for you and you give you 30 days! You'll kick yourself so hard if one of your competitors registers it tomorrow.

Marc

 

[sam09]

Hello,

Loving this forum and all the advice!!

Without trying to sound like an X Factor worthy sob story I literally mean no funds at present, nil, nada, zilch. So at the minute yes, £100 is a lot. To be fair I don't even technically posses £100 at the minute. Eeek!

So until I am eventually employed there is only so much to be done. I'm thinking I should really arrange a meeting with Business Gateway or PSYBT. Trying to wait though til I have a permanent residence, bit of income etc so at least I can invest some money as opposed to relying soley on getting a grant etc..

As for the site, again I realy do have to wait at the minute(til I have cash) Also the webspace I am using, yes my site may not be thee most original at present however I love the ease of use that it offers. I can edit content, pictures, pages etc without having to consult a designer etc or have a knowledge of HTML/CSS. Also I also can add a shopping cart and add items(can only add so many though until I go Pro but not much to sell anyways),which for a free web I think is not to shabby compared to ones I have used in the past.

So it all being absorbed and understood, just I'm not quite at the point to take off with it.

I'm in the Glasgow area btw Matt(wondering if its appropriate to use fist name terms :S)! And if you did know anyone that would be great! As I was aiming to use Gum Tree, but you have to have a business email when looking for models so will have to recruit some friend or family member. So getting a someone who knows how to take pictures would be magic!

Again thank you for all the help everyone!!!

Sam

 

[Employment Law Services]

Hello,

Without trying to sound like an X Factor worthy sob story I literally mean no funds at present, nil, nada, zilch. So at the minute yes, £100 is a lot. To be fair I don't even technically posses £100 at the minute. Eeek!

Sam I can remember how had it was to start my business from scratch without any funding so I'd like to help you out!

I'll buy the domain name(s) for you........just fire me a PM with your contact details and we'll take it from there........no rush to pay me back so absolutely nothing to worry about.

 

[sam09]

I'm beginning to think SBF is like an internet Dragons Den! It's brilliant. Though I must say you's have been a lot kinder to my many starter downfalls as I'm sure they would have been on the programme!

I think should I ever make it as a lingerie deisgner I'll hold a party on behalf of SBF, or make yous some free lingerie lol!

Sam

 

[PeterHoggan]

A party might be the better idea otherwise SBF might become more of a drag queens den than a dragons den. :confused1:

 

[sam09]

I was more thinking for the females or the female friends of the males :001_huh:, but well you never know.

I say whatever floats you boat......sail on!:thumbup:

Sam

 

[Former Member 1]

I was more thinking for the females or the female friends of the males :001_huh:, but well you never know.

I say whatever floats you boat......sail on!:thumbup:

Sam

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Must confess that appreciative as I am of women who understand the impact of such 'beguilements' I would have no possible use for lingerie.. Free or otherwise.... :001_unsure::001_unsure::001_unsure: Whisky yes! A decent socket set and some beer... But I couldn't hope to imagine I'd ever know anyone who'd appreciate such a gift; at least not from me... :001_unsure:

Though based nearer Edinburgh I do teach in Glasgow; so will see if I can line you up with with someone credible who might wish to expand their own portfolio. If we get 'stuck' I'll shoot it for you; but I'm not the best person to do this kind of work....

Dragon's Den?? Aye; a few folk have walked away charred to a crisp.... :thumbup: We'll rip the flashest of cowboys to ribbons... But you've got a genuine idea and are struggling to take the first tottering steps.... If you're 100% straight up nobody on SBF will do anything but help....

It's no big deal; In five years time when you're opening in Milan You'll remember who to call to direct the 24 camera live HD feed.... And of course who's going to handle the HR for the 1000 strong international workforce..... Entirely mercenary! :lol:

Karma works! It's good business! Most of us here are running small businesses and understand the fragility of it all.....

 

[sam09]

Ooo Milan, that would be a dream! You do have point that for any area of business I was unsure about, there is such a wide variety of businesses and people on this forum that I'm sure someone would be able to help. Which is great. So I could be in touch in the future as a paying customer!

You also mde me remember an idea I had been contemplating. I've been thinking that when I have my first full collection on th go I'd like to do some sort of Ann summer party, but not a tacky. Not that I mean that in a bad way to them as they do exactly what you ask for, fun and a laugh, a bit tongue in cheek. However, I want to do somethin that even your more reserved would consider...a bit more classy. Also, and this is they key bit, I would like to do men's parties.
A night on say the uprun to Christmas or Valentines day where a group of guys can arrange a night where they can see an assortment of items, be told of our bespoke services, and get any adivce they may be too embarrassed to ask in a shop. But I need somthing else to make those sort of night appealing to men-without the use of semi naked ladies lol.

Just an idea, to go in my little notebook to think about.

Sam

 

[sam09]

The SBF is amazing. I often wonder if I've had response here as opposed to the Uk forum, as if I'm honest I think Scots just love a bit of chat. Whether your at a bus stop or in the local shop theres always someone eager for a blether.
That added to the fact that it seems there are a lot of very kind people on this forum.

Booked myself into a starting up seminar with Business Gateway, to try and get myself a bit more clued up!

Sam