That’s the problem. Your husband doesn’t help you laying down the law. He only listens to your husband because he probably allows your son to do whatever he wants.
How does your husband treat you? Perhaps your son is just following his lead. You have to lay down the law to your husband. Perhaps then he’ll see the harm he’s doing to your son.
If nothing else works, enroll him in a military school. That’ll wake his little ass up real quick. Specifically, enroll him in a military school run by the Marines. Some old retired Gunnery Sergeant working there will have a profound effect on your son’s attitude.