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Give us this day our daily joke...

Scottish Business Owner

Scottish Business Owner

New Member
Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches.
When you can no longer get the straw in the hole, you've had enough. :D
 
amestaper

amestaper

New Member
TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY BREAKING NEWS: Amanda Knox linked with move to Italy.
 
saltire

saltire

New Member
TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY BREAKING NEWS: Amanda Knox linked with move to Italy.
Ouch - a bit near the bone :p

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to an Edinburgh bank and asks for an immediate loan of £5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the £5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be £5,000 in principal, and £15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a cheque and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow £5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Edinburgh for two weeks and pay only £15.40?"
 
Scottish Business Owner

Scottish Business Owner

New Member
All Is Fair In Business
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE' ;)
 
Scottish Business Owner

Scottish Business Owner

New Member
Thought it was about time we added to this :p

What did the pirate say on his 80th Birthday?

Aye Matey!

;)
 
MapleTree

MapleTree

New Member
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

:D
 
RedSky

RedSky

New Member
Verified Member
The Joy of Call Centres

An old lady rang her bank and a man, obviously from an Indian call centre, replied.

"Is that the High Street branch?"

"No, Madam, it's now company policy to deal with telephone calls centrally."

"Well I really need to speak to the branch."

"If you'll just let me know your query I'm sure I can help you."

"I don't think you can, young man, I need to speak to the branch."

"There's nothing that the branch can help you with that can't be dealt with by me."

"OK. Can you just check on the counter. I think I've left my gloves behind."
 

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